Let's Up The (M)Ante Here

I've been thinking of doing this for a while, and I think I'm gonna go ahead with it and stretch the formal beginning of Project UMB back to September 20, the first Monday after my birthday. This will give my body even more time to adjust, and plus make my birthday a bigger deal. It will probably become something of an orgy of meat and dairy (aren't they all?) like a Mardi Gras for this unseasonal Lent. Things on the list for the celebrations might include Fogo de Chao and Friendly's Grilled Cheese Burger Melt.


Isn't It Dangerous For Him To Use DDTs?
The CHIKARA wrestler currently known as Dasher Hatfield was not always Dasher Hatfield. For years he was known as "Create-A-Wrestler", in homage to the feature included in all wrestling video games these days where you can design your own grappler from scratch.

The way the gimmick worked was very innovative and fan-friendly. At the start of each season, fans were asked to send in suggestions for what CAW's gimmick should be for that season. The booking office would take the best suggestions and put them up for a vote, and CAW would adopt the winning entry until the end of the season, when his "memory card" would be "formatted". Past identities assumed by CAW include MosCOW, the communist bovine:

and Ultimo Breakfast, the masked master of the morning meal:

Anyway, sometime last season (or poss the one before?) his latest gimmick (Dasher Hatfield, the Old-Timey King of Swing) got so popular, they wrote in a "fusebox accident" to make his "memory card" "unformattable" and so he remains in that character today, teaming up with Sugar Dunkerton to form The Throwbacks:

So anyway, here's a special update from 2007 where a bunch of CHIKARA stars chipped in with their votes (MosCOW won that year). It's all good stuff, but I've set the video to begin at UMB's segment where he, ah, hilariously describes the reasons behind his choice.

Oh, the ladies. AND the insects.